Chosen and Choices

Thank you.

I couldn't have said it better. Indeed, for all my pithy complaints, there is no other toddler I want to be mother to. And knowing that he is God's special gift to us, with all of his qualities and challenges humbles me tremendously.

Perhaps we're all programmed by the way we've been brought up to be competitive.

Even as parents, we eye other people's children, much the same way as we do other people's jobs, salaries, achievements, so that we can make mental notes about our own. It's a problem, no doubt about that, and we have ourselves to blame for so much unhappiness. Instead of looking out for unique traits and talents, we see shortcomings. What a curse!

And every so often, something happens to remind me that my faith has freed me from this curse. Why should I continue to be tethered!

Randy Pausch, a Carnegie Mellon professor whose book to his three children the Last Lecture inspired millions of readers to re-evaluate their lives and the legacy they would like to leave behind for their children, died today.

I haven't read the book, but reading just how the news covered his death, I see the influence this man has effected by simply choosing not to be defeated by impending death, and instead using it as a "teachable moment" for his children, and hopefully, also showing how one should celebrate life.

Applying this simple general truth to our son, I realize that as much as Dylan is chosen for us, I also have to choose to embrace him for every bit he is, and the mother that he is helping me become.

Over dinner tonight, in a bout of reminiscing about life before Dylan, I told E. that as much as we enjoyed ourselves then, life now with Dylan is so much more fulfilling, and I can't imagine it any other way. Even if it means many more nights of waking at 4a.m. and coaxing a sprightly toddler to go back to bed!

Hmmm.

And it's also reciprocal.

One fine day, if the day comes when Dylan looks at the two of us in total despair and asks why he has to have us, of all people, as parents, this mother prays that he'll also have a similar epiphany, and find the grace to thank God for picking us to be his!