Love Never Fails?

I subscribe to a weekly e-newsletter called "Upwords with Max Lucado" - an established christian author whose reflections on biblical concepts are refreshing and easy to read.

Today's article was on 1 Corinthian's 13: 8 - "Love Never Fails." In a nutshell, Lucado reflects on the truth that unfailing love is only accomplished by God alone.

It made me think about the quality of my love as a mother. People like to generalize and say that parents' love for their children is unconditional.

In some ways, yes - loving one's own flesh and blood is probably the closest approximation of this thing we call unconditional love.

But is it really unconditional?

Then explain to me how it is that when I see my child reject his dinner and abjectly refuse to behave in the way I want to him to, an anger wells up inside of me that I never thought I was capable of feeling?

And when I receive his end-of-year progress report book from his nursery teacher, why I should allow an inexplicable sense of disappointment to creep in at the column marked "Needs Improvement" for "Child is able to share toys" or "Knows his shapes/ numbers".

The truth is, in my fallen state, I am not able to love unconditionally, as Christ does.

It's easier to love my child when he is lovable - obedient, well-mannered, clever, articulate.

When he is acting in an unlovable manner... it gets admittedly more challenging. It's as though he's broken the unwritten covenant between mother and child, tearing down the natural authority I have in his life, breaking the deep-seated expectations that I never even realized were there.

In times like these I realize in the same way, I have utterly and abjectly disappointed God in the many sinful thoughts and prideful choices I've made in my life, and wonder how it is possible that His love is so great to see past it.

It disturbs me that in extreme situations and circumstances, my love for my children can indeed fail. I am disconsolate, and filled with dismay about my limits.

Yet, I'm still going to strive for a perfect love in this life. If my child is to see in me the quality of God's unfailing love in our lives, I desparately need to grow closer and closer in my walk with Him, and understand Him more and more.

There is a powerful lesson in rearing children for parents, I think.

When God gazes down on each and everyone of us, what he sees is a perfect creation, his own handiwork, a lovable soul with whom he wants to share eternity with. This is possible only because of what Christ has accomplished on the cross!

In Love's gaze, we are washed whiter than snow, and made perfect even in our broken, damaged state.

When I gaze on these two lovely forms before me, may I see them as God sees them too - imperfect, but unfailingly loved by God.

May my life demonstrate the gratitude of this truth.

You Will Never Walk Alone

One other thing occupying some of my maternity leave is preparing for our church's upcoming christmas presentation. Check out this website to find out more about THE GREAT BIG CHRISTMAS GIVE-AWAY... book your tickets early to avoid disappointment. =)



Here you see 6 of us singing Point of Grace's song, You Will Never Walk Alone, recorded during our rehearsal for last Sunday's preview at church. It's about the assurance that in this life, while we may face long and difficult roads, we will always have our Lord walking beside us all the way.

Fun @ Kids Amaze, Safra Toa Payoh

People wonder what moms do during their maternity leave - now that the government's upped it to 16 weeks.

I'm loving the lazy mornings, enjoying a slow breakfast with the little one, reading the papers. I'm loving the afternoon naps, and the free time I use to catch up on reading or the latest episode of House on Surfthechannel.com.

What I love most is having daylight hours to bring D to places where I know he can stretch his little toddler legs, running, jumping, and performing all kinds of stunts that tots are intrinsically experts at.

Over the weekend, we did just that. I had intended to bring D to the indoor play area at Downtown East, but after checking out the website I was pretty turned off by the exorbitant admission fees.

"What?! Even the adults have to pay to go in?!"

So a good friend recommended Kids Amaze at Toa Payoh, SAFRA instead. Good value at $7 per entry, a third of the price I'd have to pay at Downtown East.

It's not a big area, but the indoor two-storey play structure was big enough for my 3-year-old to work up a sweat within minutes.

Unlike Fidgets where adults could also enter the play areas, parents and caregivers were not allowed inside the enclosure, which meant that D had to muster enough courage by himself to exploit the structure.

Which he did, to my delight! Without instruction or encouragement, he discovered how to slide down the fireman's pole - that's my boy. =)





"Ta-Da Mommy!"

Little G is still too little to enjoy the facilities of course, so while gor gor exploited every nook and cranny the baby slept in his stroller.



He also attracted the attention of a group of older girls - aged around 5 or 6 - who started chasing him all around the play area. One girl was so riveted by him she could hardly keep her hands off his face!





I look at my boy, and suddenly realized how big he is becoming, just over month shy of turning three...

Now that he's a bit more used to having baby brother around, the two have started becoming more buddy-buddy. They even match each others' moods - just check these out!

The cheeky face:


The more serious face:

5 years, 2 kids and a few kilos later...

Here's a belated post on what it feels like to be married for five years and being mom to not one but two boys.

I've come to believe that when God blesses a couple with children, He does so with a chuckle in His throat and a glint in His eyes.

Surely, nothing tests a marriage and one's character like becoming parents! It's been a funny and often heart-rending journey for us two jokers.

I don't think any pre-marital counseling course could have prepared us adequately for what we've been through particularly in the past 3 years.

Truly, marriage is so much more than finding one's soulmate, or enjoying a life-long companion, someone you don't mind spending happily ever after with.

In 5 years, I've learnt that marriage is just as much about:

Coping with the dismay of having yet another romantic notion about our other half dismantled.

At the same time, finding ourselves endeared to new qualities and virtues that we never saw, or would never have imagined ourselves being so utterly attracted to before - like skilfully managing the family budget, for one thing. Ha!

Realizing that when God gives us children, he thinks we need to learn patience. A lot a lot of patience.

And love our parents THAT MUCH MORE because now we know how hard it must have been for them to put up with our nonsense!

Acquiring a new father and mother, and learning to love them for raising a son to be the man he is for me to love so dearly, even if their ways are different from what I grew up with.

After each painful conflict...Marriage is about being on bended knees, and asking God, each other, and our children, for forgiveness, for the many many words uttered in a rush of anger and hurt.

And learning from each mistake how to be a better mom and dad, and hoping that no lasting harm has been done, that God's restorative love redeems and heals the brokenness.

It's being surprised and delighted at how we're capable of loving SO very much, beyond each other and our firstborn!

It's about learning to laugh at both the wonderful and terrible things that happen to us - the joy of having two beautiful children and the grief that accompanies each stressful episode with them.

5 years, 2 kids and a fair number of kilos later, this mommy believes that the one thing that holds this marriage together - is our total and utter dependence on God to provide, to comfort, to teach and correct, to restore and reconcile.

To my wonderful husband - thank you for putting up with me on this journey. And yes, I hang on bated breath to see what adventures God brings us in our next five years together!

More pictures!

D waits for Daddy to arrive at T3 Arrival Hall



And our 10-week old G

My son is me, and I am my mother

Went through some old family photos, and saw my son in me and myself in my mom.

Do you?


The mommy is in the red dress, the other kid is her cousin

Busy Weekend

One evening was taking D out for a walk in the neighborhood when we stopped for a chat with R who lives down the road with his wife and four kids.

Seeing the little active tyke, he suggested getting D a helmet when he cycles out on the road. Seeing sense in his advice, I did just that this weekend.

Here he is taking out his new rocket-and-alien ship themed sports helmet for a test ride:




On Sunday, we headed down to Fidgets again, this time at the invitation of his cousins for their joint birthday party.

Fidgets is an indoor playground for young toddlers to go crazy in. It also caters to parents who want to just find a place where they can order a coffee, sit down and read the papers or the magazine, and just chill while their kids run amok. It's very much like Puff's Magical Playhouse in Traralgon, just smaller and a lot more expensive - at $15 per entry.

I had actually brought D and my helper E there a week before to "recce" the place, so the photos below are from both visits:



Here he is trying to blow the candles off his cousin's birthday cake!

Watching them grow

A friend messaged me today and asked in passing if Dylan was enjoying school.

It's now almost three months to his third birthday. He's barely 3!

In some societies it can seem perverse to subject such little ones to a life of regiment, albeit for only three hours a day.

He's in his uniform at 1110hrs sharp, gets in the car by 1115hr and the minute I arrive at the school's main gate and stop the car at around 1120hr, troops of pre-school teachers promptly open the car door and briskly whisk him out and off into the premises.

Within seconds, they flag me to drive off hastily, forcing me to disregard his screaming and crying in the process. (There's one teacher who has a real "evil eye" - in one look she makes me feel like I'm guilty of the heinous crime of holding up traffic!)

The only teachers he will acquiesce to escorting him inside is Mrs C and Mrs H. I feel so sorry for him sometimes!

Still, in spite of his protests I can see him growing socially and verbally because of school, and I trust that at some level he enjoys having friends and teachers to interact with.

I guess what makes it hard is realizing how fast he is growing and how much of it I've been missing out on.

Here's the difference between the infant-toddler years and the schooling years: in my child's first two years (especially if you are a stay-home mom), I can see growth on a day-to-day, week-to-week basis.

Suddenly, when the early educators step in and I outsource the nurturing, or when I re-enter the workforce, our child comes home saying new things, behaving differently, and I find myself asking - when did this happen?

Soon, my little boy will be introduced to the rigors of mainstream schooling, well before I'm ready for him to.

I guess this only makes the time I have with G these remaining two-plus months all the more precious.

In his 7th week, baby G is learning to smile genuinely, sleep for longer periods through the night, and thank God his jaundice has cleared.

He also has enough head support to be propped up against the sofa, so he has a better view of the world, which by the looks of it, he seems fascinated by:


Here's a term I picked up watching American's Next Top Model - "Smizing". It means smiling with your eyes. G's mastered that already, hey!


Ok, this one's a little harder to interpret. Is he contemplating the deep mysteries of the universe?



Or maybe he's just drifting off to slumber land...

No teeth?

Dylan, spying his baby brother's toothless grin, turns to me and says:

"Gareth's teeth fell out!"

Six Weeks Old

Baby G is 6 weeks old today.

He's growing fast, and though still a little jaundiced, he is looking every bit the cutie to this mommy that he is.

Like the laundry my helper E. puts out every morning, she lays him out in the morning sun too. Now that he's a bit more aware and responds to stimuli, you can see him eyeing me (and the camera) with some interest:



A little closer:


And closer up still: