Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Missing Daddy

Dylan's been grumpy the whole day today.

I reckon it's all because he woke up at 3am last night, moaning and groaning.

I'm not sure if he was going through a growth spurt and was just hungry, or if he had a bad dream after I sent him to sleep whispering these words:

"Little one, even though mommy and daddy won't be around you must know that we love you very very much. So be a good boy, listen and obey grandma and grandpa and don't make too much trouble for them. We'll be back really soon, and we love you very very much, ok?"

So at 3am last night, I changed his diapers (felt heavy, but not soaking), and I fed him the 7oz. that I usually prepare for his 6am feed. After he finished it, I switched off the light, thinking the feed plus a change of diapers would send him back to la-la land.

He tosses and turns for about 15 minutes and keeps still. Thinking he's now sound asleep, I lift his little body up to put him back into his cot. But he stiffens right before landing, and starts his low-pitched crying again. This was typical only when he was much younger - very unusual now that he's started sleeping through from 9to 6am.

I thought: ok, just let him moan himself back to sleep.

3 minutes of intermittent "Mmm-ai-ya-ai-ya" soon turned into 3 minutes of breathy "D--ah-eeh, Da--eeh". Is our son saying "Daddy"?

Could it possibly be that this little child is missing his father? Or that he's somehow getting that awful premonition that mommy too, will soon not be around to respond to him in the middle of the night like this?

In the morning, after a fitful night, he toddles into grandma's room, points to a family portrait, and says, "Daa- eeh".

His grandma's jaws dropped, but our little imp refuses to repeat his stunt.

So the evidence remains circumstantial, at best. But in both our hearts, we're screaming back to our li'l one: "we miss you too, son".

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